Absense

even your best friend since preschool you are at each other's throat. It's unbelieveable. I won't call you all day because i don't want to wake up at the crack of dawn to do yoga. Finally you call at 11. I say that is "unprofessional" to call someone at 11 pm for 8 am plans. Plans, I have to add, which mostly have to do with me getting my butt out the door a half hour than you have to be up to be in your driveway honking (I wish, I have to come in and deal with everyone). Plans you are just waiting on other people to get rolling. It's no skin off your back. Yep, there is no problem. But in your voice it is unmistakeable. I've known you forever! Look, I'm the same rotten person as always. Remember how I lied about how I don't want to eat matzo ball soup (even at Passover). Because, I'm a vegetarian, me from my conservative knows how to obey boundaries irish catholic family. And you need to know what about meat I don't like. And you need to know if it's out of vanity. And you need to know why I won't eat it it's a goddamn holy day. You barely fall short of taking x-rays and getting blood samples and checking my bank balance.