Absense

I was wondering when everyone was going to shut up about the damn hurricane until I realized that new orleans is basically about to be declared abandoned. for crying out loud.

am about to dive into survival mode, with a little bitty in the bank and an amex blue in the mail (thanks j. for the idea).

heard from an old friend starts with new zealand ends with asshole.. I'll tell you which city I will avoid like the plague: new york.

was just jealous of my old posts, those were the good old days when I worked at an office where our language was mostly comprised of irritated sighs, huffs and puffs, insinuations "Don't tell me that this is the last of the paper", office encouragement "well now I'm pissed" and fake niceness and non-hugs. I actually thought carolyn was coming in for a hug but she was just reaching for the keys. oh and can't forget; dog-like commands ("we won't get any work if we're slow"), verbatim dictation "i am whats-her-face's assistant" , unrealistic expectations "how close are you to the end?" of this billion-name list. and, finger-pointing e.g "it's your fault" "it's not her fault" "it's your fault a professional printer cannot tell a straight line apart from a crooked one."

All in a day's work. Oh, just one more: her chewing trail mix with such confidence it was crumbling all along her mouth as she barked orders. And remember when a hot-shot reporter came and her opening words to him: "Want some junk?" pointing to her eclectic array of trail mix from sam's club.

Ok. well you can officially nail in my coffin, I've decided which children I want and when for crying out loud. in which order.

Great lunch with my dear, sweet Aunt. Feels amazing to drink white wine at lunch and talk about how crazy our family is. And I got a gift I cannot stop admiring.

Well I will have to cut ties with my health insurance now that I'm just about broke. One of the luxuries enjoyed by the rich and famous. I guess now I'm just like everyone else, flat broke, I'll try not to boast too much. I love the word in french "se vanter" to vant myself.

I wish I weren't so busy sucking face last time I was in LA so I couldve ate a pink's hot dog... even though I'm vegetarienne. How many drunk tourists that place must see "but i came all the way from new york" so I could show up here at 3:45 am with lipstick smeared all over my face and looking like a hoochie mama. and try to charm my way into a hot dog joint.

His dream was buying organic beer at whole foods. Her dream was showing up every to work with big bangles and helping people. I diagnose you with Narcissistic Disorder. do they even make organic beer?
Well I felt like a smarty-pants today when I bought the most complex, expensive frappachino imagineable! I did it because I had a free ticket from Starbucks. Let me tell you that, that is probably my caloric intake for about a week... I really felt disgusting drinking it. After the first two sips, you're full. Hey, it was free.
Tried not to make last night too restaurant-ey. Sitting at a sushi bar is less romantic than a table, right? I am so terrified of love.. I have to admit... like jumping off a frickin' cliff!

I think about my friend once who poured coffee into her soup.... she mixed up the coffee, cream and soup!! Oops, by accident.

because that's the one thing you can hate yourself for: who you were.

I left my windows open in a rainstorm.
Am still carrying around anger, everytime I jog I give a heated tirade to french people, for disrespecting me, this and that, you should be ashamed of yourself, you really should. And to a piece-of-shit person I met who used to be my perfect-fucking-match-made-in-heaven. Va en enfer. Tu m'accompagne? Those who twisted my arm and twisted until it damn-near-broke. Still have resentment and am so nice-to-her-face, though I never see her face. I was drawn to you for who you used-to-be. I've been waiting for you to come out of your narcissistic hole in the ground for years. You and whatshisface must have had a hoot and a holler together... go live your graduate school life eating out of other people's kitchens playing "house."
Don't get wine stuck in your belly-button.

Am ready to see a movie now, in Bethel.

Almost five months without... You.

saw the mercedes of my dreams.
ate all kinds of talapia and grouper.
am about to have financial heartache.
was so glad to see princess.
wednesday night sob fest, SFU series finale.
am going to sever ties with my ebay stalker.
love clearwater beach. not so much florida.
when will my mom stop chatting so I can use the phone!
"once you go black, you never go back" - Linda
still in love with someone on television.

closed my savings account over the phone.

je ne vis plus sur lille

soon i may see my high-school-crushie....

drove on route 10 route 10 route 202.

got out of something I didn't want to do today.

am becoming much less pretty.

there is a never.ending. pile of junk to do at this office and quite frankly I couldn't be fucked. to do. any. of. it.

hi youve reached whatshisface please leave a msg

am in an unbelieveably bad mood today. about 16 hours left.

everyone is on vacation; and why shouldn't they be?
how have I lasted the whole week through work.. look like a dirty slob again today.
yesterday in extraordinary mood. mad about my car eating gas. have to call pan am.
It's almost so far behind me.
cap.

who's there?

i have a hair appointment... gonna pay a pretty westchester penny for it too. he used to work for paul mitchell so he's so great or whatever... now I'm one of "those girls" that gets their hair colored on saturday morning on their way to the stable.. Have ralph lauren come pick me up in his yellow mercedes (He does drive one:)
wanted to tell you about trying to pick up guys on I-684. on my way home from work.
didn't swallow eyebright very well this morning... feel its still creeping around. love eyebright.

I choose to:
have a temper tantrum at the bank (my bank)
get cross at the UPS store - theyre all lazy jerks.
be rude to my sister's friends
feel dumb about doing it
spoil with love princess
be nosy on the job
never go back into my bank
only ask for whipped cream if its homemade
now, back to business.

1. shuffling papers
2. tea
3. walter
4. job
5. xav
5. xav
6. classs
6. clarisse
7. identity
7. identity
8. poumon
9. once

the back of your head is unforgettable

I thought about you while going up a hill in 3rd gear

waiting for my dad to bring me Tylenol 3.

Dr. vaughn wouldn't write me any prescription. Voice got papery thin and cracking talking to her.

Princess is having an ultrasound today. She is under anaesthesia, poor thing was hungry this morning.

Am almost in tears from pain. I realized most tears are from fear. when you are a kid you are afraid of the pain you feel.

will seriously die like this.

two stuffed animals on my bed have been situated in the missionary position for a few days. I'm too lazy to separate them and, I think the jealousy does me good. it's elephant on her back, pudgy arms in the air, trunk high, and mr. bear stately awkward between her legs.

saw happy endings this weekend. None of them will really stick in my head except that screwed up gay couple, and such a classic drummer "so he can look at all our asses"

I think about you every time I look at my watch... because you gave me my watch...

"Your watch ticks in my ear" used to be the beginning of the most brilliant poem that I don't care about anymore.

w. just walked in smelling like mothballs.

I'm going to the salon tonight. to get my hair done.

well, my blog was denied and rejected by a craiglist ad. I guess only two people read this blog, one of whom doesn't speak English... so I guess advertising or plugging like bic rasors or Venus rasors wouldn't be so effective for a pr campaign? Well, it's crazy because I just drank a diet Coke (it's 9 am) and I feel like fucking king-of-the-world!

Now I definitely won't get accepted because now I'm just horsing around this thing, and being sarcastic.

If many of you haven't noticed I've acquired an accent not native to my region. Well, it's I guess a midwestern accent! I'm not sure, I was striving for a southern accent but it seems I have drifted West and now am in about Ohio, I hope to make it to Minnesota. I just love rounding out those 'a' sounds, in fact I was just saying "asthma". Well this is all borne out of my interest in regionalisms and American accents.

last night I watched a really depressing show on eating disorders and screwed up people.. men with eating disorders are somehow worse...

my b___ reminds me of like a fictional sitcom 80's boss, who talks down really bad to everyone, the whole shabang.

w. just took 'too much of his medication' so is driving home... he left me a sweet memento of him and left the toilet paper roll empty. he is really freaky, wouldnt want to get close to him, his wife calls every day at 12 and at 5 to say "I'm going on lunch" and "I'm leaving" and if he doesnt answer she keeps calling!!! And I think leaves numerous messages, what do you think she says like "Ok, this is really weird you're not picking up, I'm starting to get worried, I'll call again in 2 minutes" or "I went out to lunch with a male colleague, I just wanted to make clear that it's totally like, platonic or whatever"

I don't know why I just gave her like, a valley girl accent, she is from the Northeast. I just picture things just falling apart for w. and him throwing telephones into the wall, banging on his keyboard, clicking *really hard* on his mouse.

I kind of have been screwing up at work alot! My dad is fixing "my" tire because he says there's a slow leak, well that's what I said actually. Remember I saw a kid write "Acsholy I dont" about like having a crush on Amber.. so funny.

hunter.

If I had known a prospective client was coming in, I would have taken a shower!

But, I couldn't be bothered. Besides I am besides myself with the news yesterday....

I like Golden's Bridge. Just scheduled an appointment with Dr. Vaughn, the lady "ok, why don't you tell me what's really going on" the big secret is I won't have insurance soon! Can the doctor please give me something for this, I don't want to embarass my family, have to move away and change my name.

A lady fresh from the Hamptons just graced our office with her presense.

Can feel a change about to happen, I'll be damned.

w. not high today... Princie was totally mellowed out, chill, she sat in front of her water bowl just staring into space.

Saw a bad film about dogs yesterday, was really annoyed that toyota hybrids were blatantly plugged, If I wanted to watch an extended commercial give me my money back (give me it back anyway, the movie sucked so bad)

My mom was so tactless arriving at the movie theatre late with a big bag of popcorn from Mrs. Green's, and fresca in a can. H. taught me alot about etiquette in movie theatres, France did too.

...

Am gonna take Princess to the vet tomorrow... that should be a bonding experience... she is coughing this weird cough, my mom thinks its furballs but I think it's asthma or something.

Just flirted with an 18-year old (maybe 17) I used to work with. Named Devon. I don't need any more notches in my belt! He is just so cool, I fantasize that he is like "why can't girls my age be as cool as her?" and so our love story is borne. I love talking to him, I get that feeling in my face, blood rushing, hormones released into the air, and he's even a bit shorter than me... Now he works at this ridiculously trendy posh post-yoga tea/choc/coffee salon. But, I got 4 free little chocolates there today that were incredible...

I told you I had wanted to spend some time in the loony bin after I graduated!.. that would have done me good.

Now, I have to make a damn move. Just fricking DO SOMETHING!