Absense

wow. you are wearing the coolest boots.

do you remember that wedding party. the ride there terrifying. where are they taking us. the couple hardly knew each other. remember how we were made prey. remember when you saw the twinkle in his eye. a dirty twinkle. I envisioned that my parents would get a call from the Embassy the next morning. we have found your daughter Butcher Name Here, in a ditch 28 kilometers from Lille on the Belgium border. My parents would say we don't know what a kilometer is. And neither does our daughter. Now please put her on the phone. In the front seat he held my hand, except to change gears. And you know what, I hated every minute of it. I thought: how much longer can I stand this. In the back seat. that guy was telling you "show me how English girls kiss." As though, the command itself would get him there. Because in his culture a man can beat the shit out of a woman. Because Allah said.

This is happening. The response to things is immediate. Not fake response. Response: I hate every minute of this. But what I am I gonna do. You can tear me up now. call me fatty or ugly all you want. In fact, when I leave the room discuss what the fuck is up with me. When we got back we laughed for a good 5 minutes; wouldn't it be funny if those guys cut us up and committed crimes with us. If they didn't answer to Allah. That day is over. This is better than: that era, which was so false, is over. the day is over. let's talk about tomorrow.

How do we ever make it home?