Absense

was just jealous of my old posts, those were the good old days when I worked at an office where our language was mostly comprised of irritated sighs, huffs and puffs, insinuations "Don't tell me that this is the last of the paper", office encouragement "well now I'm pissed" and fake niceness and non-hugs. I actually thought carolyn was coming in for a hug but she was just reaching for the keys. oh and can't forget; dog-like commands ("we won't get any work if we're slow"), verbatim dictation "i am whats-her-face's assistant" , unrealistic expectations "how close are you to the end?" of this billion-name list. and, finger-pointing e.g "it's your fault" "it's not her fault" "it's your fault a professional printer cannot tell a straight line apart from a crooked one."

All in a day's work. Oh, just one more: her chewing trail mix with such confidence it was crumbling all along her mouth as she barked orders. And remember when a hot-shot reporter came and her opening words to him: "Want some junk?" pointing to her eclectic array of trail mix from sam's club.